Not Now Darling

On his way to be executed, the vehicle containing notorious serial killer Jack Frost collides with a hazardous chemical truck, turning him into a snow covered mutant and unleashing him on the unsuspecting town of Snomonton.

Unexpectedly widowed, prim and proper housewife Grace Trevethyn finds herself in dire financial straits when she inherits massive debts her late husband had been accruing for years. Faced with losing her house, she decides to use her talent for horticulture and hatches a plan to grow potent marijuana which can be sold at an astronomical price, thus solving her financial crisis.

Henry Perkins, a mild-mannered accountant, accidentally trades briefcases with another man, to find out that there's a million dollars inside. Henry tells his unsuspecting wife of their new-found fortune, but she doesn't embrace it as well as he does. Soon they're joined by their best friends, a cop on the take, a cop on the hunt, and the dreaded Mr. Big, who has come to claim his money.

By following ten simple rules, 20-somethings Vince and Cameron spice up their relationship by sleeping around. But when their straitlaced friends get engaged, their relationship gets turned upside down. To put the rules to the test, they will go on the road to the Hamptons to crash the biggest party of the year where love triangles collide and off-the-wall mayhem ensues.

Two Britons—inventor Hengist Pod, and Horse, a brave and cunning fighter—are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Julius Caesar.

Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a 'sanitary engineer' named Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal. Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids—revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise.

Francis Bigger, a notorious charlatan who tours the country lecturing on the subject of mind over matter, slips off the platform in the middle of his performance and ends up in hospital under the care of Dr Tinkle. The hospital is about to enter a period of total chaos.

The sinister Dr. Watt has an evil scheme going—he's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for him, Detective Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue!

A septet of satirical vignettes based on the Seven Deadly Sins.

In Haven Hospital, a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital altogether. The formidable Matron's debut gives everyone a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who's a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell wants his bunion removed straight away, so after a couple of pints, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!

Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony—but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine.

A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.

Teddy works for a large advertising company. Given the seemingly impossible task of selling frozen porridge, he decides to produce commercials that make the product seem sexy. This leads him to confrontation with the "Keep Television Clean" movement, of which his wife is a senior member.

The sheriff and his deputies from the first movie decide to take a vacation in the Caribbean. Their holiday will be short-lived, however, as the thawed murderer gets inadvertently re-frozen and brought back to life. As if that weren't bad enough, he now has the ability to remain frozen even in tropical temperatures, and he's headed south to settle some old scores.

A nervous ad executive creates havoc on his daughter's wedding day and becomes obsessed with a dream girl he keeps seeing everywhere but whom he can't catch.

John Smith has been happily involved in a bigamous marriage for five years. He lives with Stephanie in Finsbury and Michelle in Stockwell. Fortunately, for John, he's a taxi driver which involves varying shift work! Simple? Well, when John unwittingly becomes a have-a-go hero and the Finsbury and Stockwell police forces discover something suspicious in their paperwork, John's happy bubble is about to be burst. The action of the movie takes place during the next hectic 24 hours as John, with the assistance of his gullible neighbor Gary, rush between North and South London attempting to thwart the police and prevent the two loving wives coming face to face!

Alf and his family have been moved from their East End home into a high-rise council estate. Alf is not only having trouble coping with his new 'home', but also with the long commute to work, the long walk to the corner pub, his long-suffering wife Else, rebellious daughter Rita, and her philandering, constantly unemployed husband Mike.

A funny thing happens to Lurcio on the way to the rent-a-vestal-virgin market stall. A mysterious scroll falls into his hands, listing the names of all the conspirators plotting to murder Emperor Nero. And when the upstart slave is elected to infiltrate the ringleader's den, the comical ups-and-downs lead to total uproar.

Returning from Lapland, where he buried his father, a renowned scientist, Jerry Cornelius, comes back to London with the firm intention of taking revenge on his brother Frank and snatching his beloved sister Catherine from his clutches. Since the recent gigantic global conflagration, things have changed considerably. If he wanted to, Jerry could easily get hold of napalm to blow up Frank's hideout. But he prefers to join forces with the disturbing Mrs Brunner, who, with the help of three scientists – Smiles, Lucas and Powys – is trying to recover a mysterious microfilm left to Frank by his father...

A female film crew journeys to Africa where a giant ape, Queen Kong, falls in love with the crew's male star.

Percy, the man with the world's first penis transplant, discovers that there is a chemical in the world's water that makes men impotent.

Three workmen assigned to dig a hole in a road for an electrical cable run into problems with local officials who believe the hole is being dug in the wrong place and should be closer to the home of a prissy fashion designer.

Harry Potter has lived under the stairs at his aunt and uncle's house his whole life. But on his 11th birthday, he learns he's a powerful wizard—with a place waiting for him at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As he learns to harness his newfound powers with the help of the school's kindly headmaster, Harry uncovers the truth about his parents' deaths—and about the villain who's to blame.

Cars fly, trees fight back, and a mysterious house-elf comes to warn Harry Potter at the start of his second year at Hogwarts. Adventure and danger await when bloody writing on a wall announces: The Chamber Of Secrets Has Been Opened. To save Hogwarts will require all of Harry, Ron and Hermione's magical abilities and courage.

Harry, Ron and Hermione continue their quest to vanquish the evil Voldemort once and for all. Just as things begin to look hopeless for the young wizards, Harry discovers a trio of magical objects that endow him with powers to rival Voldemort's formidable skills.

Hired by a powerful member of the Russian mafia to avenge an FBI sting that left his brother dead, a psychopathic hitman known only as The Jackal proves an elusive target for the people charged with the task of bringing him down: a deputy FBI director, a Russian MVK Major, and a jailed IRA terrorist who can recognize him.

Orphaned heiress, English aristocrat and intrepid archaeologist, Lara Croft, embarks on a dangerous quest to retrieve the two halves of an ancient artifact which controls time before it falls into the wrong hands. As an extremely rare planetary alignment is about to occur for the first time in 5,000 years, the fearless tomb raider will have to team up with rival adventurers and sworn enemies to collect the pieces, while time is running out. But, in the end, who can harness the archaic talisman's unlimited power?

Jamie Graham, a privileged English boy, is living in Shanghai when the Japanese invade and force all foreigners into prison camps. Jamie is captured with an American sailor, who looks out for him while they are in the camp together. Even though he is separated from his parents and in a hostile environment, Jamie maintains his dignity and youthful spirit, providing a beacon of hope for the others held captive with him.

The retelling of June 6, 1944, from the perspectives of the Germans, US, British, Canadians, and the Free French. Marshall Erwin Rommel, touring the defenses being established as part of the Reich's Atlantic Wall, notes to his officers that when the Allied invasion comes they must be stopped on the beach. "For the Allies as well as the Germans, it will be the longest day"

With the help of Marc-Ange Draco, head of the Unione Corse crime syndicate, and Draco's troubled daughter Tracy, James Bond tracks his archnemesis, Ernst Stravro Blofeld, to a mountaintop retreat in the Swiss Alps, where he is training an army of beautiful, lethal women.

Tells the life story of Danish author Karen Blixen, who at the beginning of the 20th century moved to Africa to build a new life for herself. The film is based on her 1937 autobiographical novel.

When Prince Ahmad is blinded and cast out of Bagdad by the nefarious Jaffar, he joins forces with the scrappy thief Abu to win back his royal place, as well as the heart of a beautiful princess.

Professor Van Helsing had been asked to help against the tyranny of skeletal creatures that are responsible for terror and death amongst the peasants in rural China. He is the only person qualified to deal with the cause of these phenomena, for the undead are controlled by the most diabolical force of all.... Count Dracula. But he is not alone- to aid him comes a mystical brotherhood of seven martial arts warriors.

Princess Yum Yum falls in love with Tack and saves him from being executed. Later, when the protective orbs of the palace get stolen, Tack and Yum Yum set out to find them and save the kingdom.

When a teenaged girl moves to England, with her brothers and parents into the ancient Canterville Hall, she's not at all happy. Especially as there's a ghost and a mysterious re-appearing bloodstain on the hearth. She campaigns to go back home, and her dad, believing the ghost's pranks are Ginny's, is ready to send her back. But then Ginny actually meets the elusive 17th-century Sir Simon de Canterville (not to mention the cute teenaged duke next door), and she sets her hand to the task of freeing Sir Simon from his curse.

In this fictionalised account of the Great Train Robbery, career criminal Paul Clifton plans an audacious crime: the robbery of a mail train carrying millions in cash.

A Russian ballet dancer defects from the USSR, emigrates to England, and joins a ballet company run by the powerful, wealthy Madame Laura Carrere.

As the first nomadic tribes wander across the vast wilderness of the infant planet they confront hostilities created by the harsh environment and each other. After a massive volcanic eruption a tribal chief is killed and his two sons fight for supremacy, not only for the leadership of the tribe but also for the love of a beautiful young woman. The age-old battlegrounds of rivalry, envy and passion are explored in this tale of prehistoric adventure.

After a scientific experiment goes horribly wrong during a demonstration, a scientist finds himself trapped in an alternate reality that bears some similarities to our own, but also has some striking differences. In this other reality the Second World War had never occurred, mankind had not yet traveled into Space and Mt. Everest had not yet been conquered, just to name a few things. Also in this other reality he is no longer a scientist but rather a well known author. After a personal tragedy in this alternate world, he finds himself back in his own world and desperately trying to locate the woman he fell in love with in the other world. Little does she know, however, that her life depends on him finding her.

Rich old businessman suspects his much younger wife of cheating on him. When his weak heart forces him to have a risky surgery he leaves a videotaped last will and testament - with a sadistic twist.